We Project Our Values
This topic has been on my mind for a while now; the idea that we project onto others what we value, or don't value. This whole concept honestly arose from having different disagreements with people. Not arguing, just honest disagreements. Through sitting with and dissecting the disagreements I came to the realization that we all have different ways of being, thoughts, beliefs, and acting that we value. We project those values outwardly. We usually respect the people who embody the traits that we embody. But the fact that we all have different values means we are all going to look at people differently. And this extremely alters the common archetype of "good" and "bad" people. What I value and respect in a person is going to differ from what you value and respect in people. You might value someone who is able to make a ton of money, who is able to buy the material items that are top of the line and in style but might not care for feelings that much. Where as I might value someone who is committed to their heart, willing to look deeply at themselves and take responsibility for their actions; not saying they don't make a lot of money, but it isn't the money about them that I value. You might value someone who can allow themselves to flow through the day without any structure, where as I might value someone who embodies a structure to their day. Some people might value consistency, some might value discipline, others might value working 60 hour weeks, etc, ect.
What do you value? Do you feel your values are THE truth? How would you feel if someone challenged your values? I feel it's super important to address the traits that we feel are important to us, but to also note that everyone has a different set of traits that they value. We must stay open minded, and trust that maybe when someone isn't "seeing" a certain trait we have, that it might not be a trait that is in their set of values. Our work then, is to not judge them and/or project a "you should have that value" energy, but instead respect them for the values they do have.
Compassion will be a powerful tool when we begin to recognize that everyone has a a different view and value of what a good and successful person should look like.. because there will always be the people who do not believe what I am saying. The ones who actually, truly, at their core believe their values are the end all be all; that their truth is THE truth. Compassion.