Why do YOU Judge?

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Judging others; Everyone does it. I mean, we almost can't not because all we really are is reflections of each other. This has been a topic that has come up a lot lately so I thought i'd touch on it. There will always be qualities and aspects that we find tough to embrace within others, but ultimately within ourself. It's a practice. I have been spending more time becoming aware of when I judge someone, and giving myself the space to sit with why, and work on going deeper into myself instead.  One thing that has helped me harness a deeper compassion for others is developing true compassion with and for myself. When we don't have compassion for ourselves we project our own self-expectations onto other people.

I want to remind myself and you that we have NO IDEA... NOO IDEAAAA what other people have been through. We have no idea what their ancestors have been through, we have no idea what they are going through right now. We have no idea how they've been raised, or what happened while they were in school. We have no clue what people are carrying with them. And to be really honest, do we have any idea what WE are carrying? We all have pain. We all have trauma. We all have issues that we are working through. Who are we to judge someone else? Especially by something on the surface. We need to look DEEPER.

It's laughable to me now when I become aware of when I'm judging someone. Because it IS laughable because it's such nonsense. Yeah maybe these people have a quality that we don't like. So what? Does this make them less worthy? Does this make them not as good as us? Does this make them incapable? Maybe what we are perceiving is a lesson for us? Maybe this isn't even about them at all. Maybe what we are seeing is guidance for OURSELF, an opportunity to look inside, to ask more questions, to practice compassion. Maybe it's a chance to get to know someone better, a chance to let go of our pride. Maybe we need to bow down, to sit down, and surrender, let go, forgive, and apologize.   Say these next words to yourself, slowly, and repeat three times:

 I am sorry. 

I am sorry. 

I am sorry.

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

I love you.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

 

The only reason we spend so much time judging others is because we are insecure in ourself. We look for something to feed off, to grow ourselves up; to convince ourselves WE are worthy by focussing on the darker aspects in others. We judge these aspects so harshly because we are too afraid to even consider that they are within us too. Deeply. The deeper we judge and point the finger outwardly, the deeper the pain and shame we are feeling about ourselves. We judge because we are ashamed. But there is nothing to shame. Only forgiveness, only permission, only compassion.

This post is an invitation letter to you, and to myself to grow our compassion for ourselves, to know that we are much more than what meets the eye, and the same is true for what we are perceiving in others. This is in invitation to own up, to take responsibility, to look within ourselves, and to remember:

We aren't taking anything away from the people we judge. Just because we choose not to SEE them, doesn't mean they are less powerful, less sacred, less of who they TRULY are. Just remember, when we judge others, the only ones we are truly hurting, is ourselves.